Dating... When? How? Who?

I have a  wonderful daughter. And, although she is only 19 months old, I believe I'm supposed to be stocking up on guns and ammo for the time she starts dating (which will be at 35). Just kidding, she's never going to want to date... we believe in arranged marriage! OK, that's not true.

Dating is a hard topic. It not only signifies that your teen is preparing to leave your home, but that they want to start an entirely independent life! And, love is messy and hard. Even if you've been married for 50 years, you still have to work at it.  Our teens are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to romantic love... they're brand new at it! How can we as parents of teens help our them have healthy, safe, and productive dating lives?

I once heard Bill Allison (of Cadre Ministry fame), talk about dating. In particularly the rules he had for his daughters. He expected a couple of things from them:

1. The boy had to ask him permission for a date.  This weeded out a lot of duds. If a boy asked his daughter out on a date, she replied "you have to ask my dad". This took a lot of pressure off of Bill's daughters. If a boy was willing to ask, that immediately signaled the boy was at least respectful.   
2. The boy had to go out for coffee with Bill first. Before the boy could take his daughter out, Bill asked that the boy would go out for coffee with just him. Over coffee Bill would explain his expectations for the date, and that he was there for the boy as a mentor. If the boy was not a believer, or didn't quite fit the bill, Bill would not let the date happen. 
3. Want to take my car? If the boy was allowed to take Bill's daughter out, he would ask him, "Why don't you take my car for the date?" Bill, said that every guy was shocked he would let him drive his car. But he reasoned, that if the guy was good enough to date his daughter, he was good enough to drive his car.    

These thoughts have been really helpful to me, as I think about my kids and dating. If someone isn't good enough to drive my car, why should they date my child? What are are the ground rules for dating? Am I available to listen to my child honestly, about their dating life? Do I mock their attempts to figure out love, or do I see that they are trying to learn?

Talk with your teens and establish some ground rules and boundaries for dating. How can you help them work through the mire of teenage love?

Here are 10 tips on dating. These are a great place to start for ground rules.