Moral decisions... Spiritual consequences.

Moral obedience is a hallmark of most any world religion. In Hinduism moral obedience ultimately determines your reincarnation level, in Islam it gives hope to (but, no guarantee of) salvation, and in Buddhism it reflects your opinion of the universe and ultimately your level of enlightenment. And while, moral obedience plays a prominent role in Christianity, it is the doctrine of "Salvation by grace." that separates Christianity from all other religions. As Christians we firmly believe that salvation is not earned, it is a gift of God. And that gift, is given to anyone who believes in the divinity and resurrection of Jesus with everything they are (Rom. 10: 8-10). Moral obedience is then a response born out of love to God's grace. And, we are well aware that the commands of God in scripture are simply (by commonsense standards) good for us. There are commands that inform how we are supposed to treat one another in our personal relationships, spend our money, think of other people and their possessions, and even instructions for our political convictions. But, what role (if any) does our moral obedience have in preserving and even, strengthening our spiritual faith?

Simply, can our moral disobedience prove to be a destructive force in our belief and love of God? Or, in other words, can moral disobedience crumble the foundations of a once true and earnest love and commitment for God? The following article dives into the area of sexual obedience, and it's affect on our spiritual faith.

http://blogs.ancientfaith.com/twocities/had-sex-dumped-jesus/


*Remember, legalism is when we make following the rules the solution to our problem. Jesus (throughout the gospels) and Paul (in the book of Romans) are very clear that legalism is never the solution to our problem. It is the product of following Jesus, who is the solution to our problem.  

Some questions to follow the article up with:

1. What is the difference between obedience out of love, and leagalism?
2. How does legalism shape one's thinking on obedience? And, same question for obedience out of love.
3. Why do you think our moral obedience shapes what we believe about God?
4. How can a decision to walk in moral obedience to God, rebuild and strengthen our faith in God?
5. How can I encourage my teen to see the connection between moral obedience out of love, and the resulting spiritual encouragement? Also, how can I model it for them?

Media: What should I take in?

The topic of media consumption is a very relevant topic not only for our teens, but for us as adults as well. At any point in time I have a device that is connected to the internet on my person. And, can access any number of entertainment options from it. This is vastly different from the world I grew up in, in the 90's. Music could not be streamed instantly, movies could not be accessed on demand, and journals or books required paper. Yes, the internet was alive, well, and thriving in 1996. But, most of our tech was still tethered to the wall. My parents had a certain amount of tangible control over what I could or couldn't physically access. Today, the portability of tech makes that job harder for parents. What hasn't changed, is the need to teach our students to be discerning in what media to consume, and more importantly, how to consume it.

I am thankful that I grew up with parents and a youth pastor, that helped me sort through how to digest media. It saved me from taking in and being shaped by some real garbage (Christian and non-Christian). Yes, there is Christian media (movies, music, books, etc) that is absolute garbage and should not be digested. And yes, a good deal of it was (and, is) marketed at my local Christian bookstore. I was encouraged to ask questions of everything I was watching, listening to, and reading. Questions that would help me work through what's true, what's opinion, and what is noble, pure, and lovely.

Here is a great article with some great questions to ask before, while, and after consuming media.

Let's be parents who help our kids work through not only what, but also how to digest all media. 


If the link doesn't work, copy this into your browser of choice: http://reachstudents.blogs.efca.org/rated-r-for-wrong/

Dealing With Social Media Perceptions and Pressures

We've all been there. You're catching up on what you've missed in the last couple hours on your social media platform of choice, and all you're seeing is: perfect pictures, witty musings, and status updates that would make the Pope jealous. You probably find yourself  going in one of three directions:  

1. Motivated to out do your current social media pals with your next photo / post / update, and you blur the lines between truth and fiction. 
2. You get slightly (or, majorly) depressed at how boring / ordinary / generally unexciting your life is.  
3. You forsake all social media, declare it hollow and soulless, and go back to using Windows 95. 

OK, maybe the third option is a bit extreme, but I know as someone who has grown up with technology and uses social media, that I've experienced the first two at different points. Honestly, as I write this, in my mind, I'm rolling through the images on my instagram account and asking, "Truth or fiction?"

Now imagine being a teen and trying to process what's really going on behind all those posts, tweets, and pictures posted to any number of social media platforms they are taking in. That is a lot of perceptions and intentions to sort through. Especially, if you are trying to figure out who you are and what your life means.

Here is a great article to help us as parents of teens understand what's going on with our teen as they use social media. Especially, when their reaction to what's being posted is depression (mild or severe).

If the link doesn't work, copy this into your browser of choice:

http://www.cpyu.org/files/2014/10/CPYU-Trend-Alert-Facebook-Depression.pdf

Teen Culture And Resource Links

Ideas spread at an exceptional rate in the 21st century. As a result we are able to have greater perspectives on issues, share info more freely, and influence with a broader result. However, it also means that we are taking in more and more information, perspectives, and having to sort through it all. As parents it is a full time job to sort through all of the things that are relevant to you and your daily life, let alone sort through and keep up with the things your teen is sorting through. Here are some links to culture updates and resources that can help you, as you parent a teen.

All links are from www.CPYU.org. CPYU.org is run by Dr. Walt Mueller, and is a great resource for parents of teens and youth workers.

Culture Updates: These links are posted to help you be informed about what is being discussed in, and happening in the world of our teens.

• Frustrated with your teen's non-stop use of tech? Here are some thoughts on what's going on with them. http://now.uiowa.edu/2014/09/sometimes-adolescents-just-cant-resist

• Sexual health is always a hot topic. Here is what is being discussed nationally now.  http://www.cbsnews.com/news/pediatricians-birth-control-recommendations-for-teen-girls/  

 

• Sippin' Scissor? Find out what it is. http://www.wcyb.com/news/dirty-sprite-gains-popularity-among-teens/28236066

• Can't find your teen on FaceBook? Look in one of these other social media options. http://www.voxburner.com/publications/6761-12-alternative-social-media-to-consider

• Ever wonder who you teen subscribes to on YouTube? Check out this list for some top trending YouTube stars among teens. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/10-youtube-stars-your-kids-love? 

• Steve Jobs was a low tech parent. Yes, you read that right. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fashion/steve-jobs-apple-was-a-low-tech-parent.html?_r=2

Check out more updates and topics here: http://www.digitalkidsinitiative.com/resources/research-news/



Resources: 

• Confused on what all that text lingo means? Here's a list of the harmless and not so harmless text abbreviations. http://www.digitalkidsinitiative.com/files/2012/01/text_acronyms1.pdf

• Trying to set some tech boundaries? Consider using this covenant: http://www.digitalkidsinitiative.com/files/2012/01/family_covenant.pdf

•  Need some help understanding/ dealing with cyber bullying? Here is a helpful resource: http://www.digitalkidsinitiative.com/files/2012/01/Cyberbully_handout.pdf

Growth... Part 3

This week we'll wrap up the 3 post series on spiritual growth. You can find the first two posts here and here.

Leading a student in and through a meaningful and complete spiritual formation experience is hard. What makes it truly difficult is that you can't control the entire experience, and you can't guarantee the results. Yet, it is not our job as parents to be able to control the experience or guarantee the results. Remember, we are not striving for behavioral modification, we are yearning for spiritual formation. So, we must trust the experience and the results to the one who is truly in control. And, here's some good news... He doesn't let his truth go out and then return void.  So what is our job as parents (in a nutshell) for spiritual formation?

1. Offer complete and well thought out (not perfect or micro-managed) spiritual growth experiences. Another way of thinking of spiritual growth experiences, is to think of them as spiritual exercise... It's like going to the gym. ;)
2. Trust the results, process, and growth of your teen to our Heavenly Father. 

If you need some ideas for spiritual exercise with your teen, check out post #2.  

OK, so let's talk about your teen. Remember how it's hard to just have a conversation about the weather, let alone have a chat about something deep and personal like faith? Here's what's going on with your teen:

• They verify everything through the lens of experience: The teenage brain is making an exceptional amount of connections each and everyday. Ultimately, those connections will firm up your teens personality, ability to perceive cause and effect in decision making, and go from a concrete operational thinker to an abstract thinker (ie. Own a worldview/ moral compass). The medium that they use to (consciously and subconsciously) wade through this process of development is personal experience. It is important to remember that a lot of this goes on at the subconscious level. So, your teen can't always explain the feelings they are having. Add in hormone shifts and this gets messy for you and them. 
• What this means for you: You can't simply talk to them about how to live out their faith, you must live it with them. And, they are going to watch how you live out yours. Be honest and transparent with them. Creating a facade is more damaging than you can imagine. 
• They only trust their own experience: Since the medium of personal experience is so integral to their emotional and cognitive development, it is not too hard to imagine that they will guard what they actually digest and accept as valid. Throw in there an unhealthy amount of learned distrust (from advertising and personal relationships) and your teen will begin to only trust their own experience as truly valid. Simply, their own experience is the only one they can feel, touch, taste, and digest. This is part of moving from being a concrete operational thinker (ie. Mom and Dad said it must be true, so it is true.) to abstract thinker (ie. I've experienced this to be true, so it is true.).
• What this means for you: Be patient with them and offer perspective giving thoughts, not simply corrective thoughts. Ask open ended questions: What did you think about that? How did you feel in that situation? What did you like or dislike about that? Essentially, you want to get them involved in the experience at some level. This will be gradual. Limited involvement and responses at first, and hopefully more involved and deeper responses as time goes on and more experiences are offered.  
• They are able to make quick assessments of what is genuine and what's fake: I've heard it said that a teen has an attention span of a gold fish, somewhere around 7 seconds! There is serious truth in that claim even if their attention span is longer than that. Simply, our teens are currently the most advertised to generation ever. As a consequence, they make exceptionally quick assessments of what they perceive to be genuine or fake. Consider how many ads are on your computer screen right now, and how many of them you've actually paid attention to. Subconsciously, you've assessed and seen all of them, and within seconds you've chosen to ignore or engage them. 
• What this means for you: You need to offer experiences consistently, and be genuinely engaged in those experiences yourself. If you're not bought in, your teen will see that a mile away, and they won't buy-in. You also need to be honest, and let them be honest. Trust is built with a teen by not devaluing their thoughts. Remember growth is a process, not a point in time. 
• They are yearning for truth: Teens want truth. They want something that will help define and make sense of their life and world. And, with all that is going on in their brains, this is a great time to introduce and start to solidify a worldview in their minds and hearts. 
• What this means for you: Take advantage of this opportunity. Be engaged with your teen. See what it does for your relationship with them and with Jesus. If you've made it this far, you're probably picking up that spiritual growth/ formation is a process and requires patience. Essentially,  patience is one of the most important ingredients in leading your teen closer to Jesus. Your teen wants to know truth (they were wired for it), but it will take a patient teacher to lead them into and through it. 

 Closing thoughts: You don't need to be perfect to help your teen experience Jesus... remember, your growth process, and the bumps in the road. In fact we can't and will never do it perfectly but, we can do it faithfully. It will take time for your teen to buy-in, be patient with them and with the process. Finally, trust God for the results and for the experience.

PS. Don't forget to pray. If this is new or old hat for you, pray. Pray before, pray during, and pray after. This is God's work and we are joining him, so let's be engaged with him along the way.

Growth: Part 2

 

Last week on the blog, I explored the growth model our youth ministry uses to guide our programs, and asked the question:

So, as parents, are we offering and encouraging opportunities for our teens to be engaged in the total experience of spiritual growth? Are we (personally) engaged in that as well? Ie. Are we modeling it? 

This week, I want to offer some practical thoughts on how we as parents can be answering, yes, to those questions. Remember, this is not a curriculum you can implement, a program you can turn on, or a switch to flip. This is a heart thing; and, heart things take time, consistency, and patience.

Here are some ideas for engaging your teen in spiritual growth:

Go on a mission trip: This could be local, national, or global. Simply, take your teen with you as you go on mission. Some trips may not be appropriate to take your teen with. Ie. If you are going to a closed country such North Korea, or working directly with human trafficking victims. Yet, there are so many opportunities to take your children along with you as you serve. They can look like:

• Raking your neighbors leaves this fall: Start small if this is new for you. Ask your teen to come with you as you serve someone in a simple way. Explain that, by loving others and expecting nothing in return is one way we live out our commitment to Jesus. Afterward, ask them about how the time went. 
• Serving the homeless: Want to do something a little more out of your comfort zone? Consider serving your local homeless population. Call up a homeless shelter and as what they need help with, then pick something and bring your teen.  
• Going on a domestic or international mission trip: This can be a big step in a lot of ways. You'll be in a new location, serving in a focused way, and being forced to really consider the spiritual significance of our lives. So, why wouldn't you want to go? Talk about an upcoming trip with your teen, see if they are interested, and pray together about going and serving. 

Remember, when you invite your student to go on mission with you, their experience is strongly dependent on you. If you're not all in, they probably won't be either. If you don't communicate the importance of serving and the results from serving, they may not see it. Finally, if you don't ask follow up questions and debrief the experience, they may miss the significance of that experience.  

Invite them into your quiet time: Ask them to join you, to read the passage with you, and to walk through it just as you do. Allow them to draw their own insights from the passage, and ask them about what they were. This doesn't have to be an everyday thing. But, it shows your teen a couple really important things:

• You're trying to be faithful to what you believe. 
• You're not perfect, and they don't have to be either. (This depends on your degree of honesty. Remember, teens are really good at separating the fake from the real.)
• You care for them enough to include them in your spiritual life. 
• Models how to have a quiet time.

Invite them into your spiritual obedience: Include your teen in your mundane spiritual obedience. Sounds silly right? What's mundane about being spiritually obedient? Well, what we may consider to be routine, can be revolutionary to our teens as they join us in obedience. Teach Sunday school? Ask your teen to help. Writing that tithe check out? Have junior do it with you, and ask him why he thinks you do this. Greeting at church that Sunday morning? Bring your teen along. Talk to them before about how we are a body and are all Christ's children; and, that greeting is a way to remind people of and encourage them with Jesus' love. Model obedience for your teen, especially in the little things.
 
Ask them questions: Create an environment of dialogue. Driving home Sunday after church, ask them what they learned, thought about, or even questioned that morning. Let them have some rope, even when their thoughts and reflections seem crazy.  Consider how patient God is with us as we learn more and more about him.  Their faith won't be lost in outlandish thoughts or questions. It will be squelched if we just keep setting them straight and don't guide them through the wrestling that learning takes. Trust me, this is uncomfortable for us parents. Teens want to explore and wrestle with truth, so lets make sure we are encouraging them in truth, giving them room to wrestle, and keep the dialogue going.   

Pray with and for them: Ask them to pray with you. Ask them what's on their heart that they want to pray about. And pray. Model faithful obedience in prayer, and care for them.

As you consider these things, don't feel like you need to do all of them all at once. Doing one or two already? Great, keep going! Considering trying one out? Awesome, go for it! Wherever you are at with you teen, remember this is going to take time. Think about how long it took you. Over the next week, consider how you are modeling a healthy faith for your teen, and how you can invite them into your journey. And, don't rush into anything just yet. Instead, start praying over them and for them.

Next week, we'll talk about:

• My teen doesn't want to ride in the same car, let alone pray with me!
• How do I make these consistent and successful?

Growth: Part 1

This Sunday I presented to our students (Jr. & Sr. High) this model for personal spiritual growth; and, explained that as a youth ministry we are going to give them opportunities to work through this model. Yet, in the end it's up to them to be engaged with those opportunities.

Honestly, as a youth pastor I have come to think of my job really as presenting students with opportunities for spiritual growth. I cannot make them believe the teachings of Jesus, let alone follow them with their lives. That is God's work. And, I am thankful for that! Don't get me wrong, I believe God has called me (us) to present opportunities that are good, well thought out, and focused on Him. But, growth is not up to me, and ultimately it's not linear. Leaning doesn't, and shouldn't stop. Especially, if we're learning about Jesus. And, learning doesn't result in growth by happening in a vacuum or without experience. Here's the thinking behind the model:

1. Jesus is the center: If you want to learn about Jesus, you have to keep him in the center. Simple, right?
2. Learn: This is academic learning... worshiping God with your mind. And, you don't have to be an academic person to do this. Regular Bible study and reading, memorization, and engaging with others in conversations on spiritual things are all academic pursuits.
3. Serve: Once you've gained knowledge about Jesus, you have to apply it to help it stick. Essentially, what you believe is how you'll behave. So if you have a head knowledge that God is love and wants me to be loving, but act like a huge jerk, it is safe to say, that knowledge has not resulted in growth or lasting belief. Serving is worshiping God with your hands. But, it can't happen with out learning. 
4. Grow: This is us worshiping God with our soul. We are becoming transformed into His image. It is important to not see this as the final stop in the process. Growth should prompt us to learn more, and then serve more, and keep being transformed.

If you remove one part of the model, the whole things falls apart. If you learn without serving, then you have treated God as a concept to intellectually master. And, will be disappointed and become disillusioned with Him. If you serve without learning, you'll treat it as a narcissistic (self-focused) pursuit. It's good for a while, but eventually the weight of evil and your inability to change it will become too fractured, and there will be no reason left to serve. And, if you remove growth, you never really change and you're never prompted to pursue Jesus further. Essentially, you stay the same, never thinking differently, never being challenged, or refined. Contentment gives way to complacency, and complacency kills the heart of a learner.

If we treat spiritual growth as a liner pursuit, there is an end. But, how can there be an end when we are pursuing an infinite and eternal God? And, ultimately, how does this apply to parenting teens?

Teens are looking for something to hold on to, and are eager to learn. Yet, we often present them a faith with concepts to be mastered, not experienced. And, teens thrive on experiencing things. Partly, it's because of where they are at developmentally. And, part of it is that we are all wired to be engaged in experience. Essentially, the model is the total experience. And, if we want our teens to be transformed in Jesus' image, we need to present them with the total experience. 

So, as parents, are we offering and encouraging opportunities for our teens to be engaged in the total experience of spiritual growth? Are we (personally) engaged in that as well? Ie. Are we modeling it?

What I'm Listening To

 

One of the toughest things about trying to raise believing children, is to stay fueled up emotionally, spiritually, and culturally. However, it is essential as disciple making parents that we do. Here are some podcasts that you can listen to while driving, at the gym, or going about your day, to help keep you fueled up. They range in length from only a few minutes per, to over an hour per episode. 

Unbelievable:  This is a podcast that invites scholars to debate different topics in the Christian faith.

Christ and Pop Culture (CPAC): The CAPC podcast and website are dedicated to looking at pop culture and wrestling with the truth that is found within it. I have found that they ask needed questions when thinking about pop culture through a Christian lens.

The Gospel Coalition: This podcast deals theologically with some of the deeper and more challenging issues in our faith. It provides a great partner to to the CPAC podcast.

Center For Parent Youth Understanding (CPYU): Walt Mueller is an expert on teens and culture trends for teens today. This podcast is really helpful with staying up to date on teen culture.

Ask John Piper:  Pastor John Piper has a deep knowledge of Biblical and theological things.  In each episode of this podcast he will give you lots of food for thought.

Reasons To Believe: There are several podcasts over at RTB, that are worth listening to. They interact with current scientific discoveries, look at evidence for intelligent design, and offer a Christian perspective.   

Ravi Zacharias:  Ravi Zacharias is another well known Biblical scholar. In this podcast you get to benefit from his years of study, and chew on the meat of scripture.

Answers in Genesis:  This is another podcast that looks at the scientific and Biblical sides of creationism.

Listen to Greg Speck... For Free!

Parenting teens is a hard job. And connecting with them, can feel like an even harder job!

That's why guys like Greg Speck are here to help us. Get a chance to listen to Greg speak about connecting with your teen for free, at Valley Church in West Des Moines, on Sept. 21. For more info and to register go here: http://www.vefc.com/reconnect

What to Look for in a Good Friend

I read this article a while ago, but thought it was a timely subject with school just starting. 

What to Look for in a Good Friend | Charles Stone

charlesstone.com · by Charles Stone · July 24, 2014

God made us to be in relationship with each other. We were made for community and we all want good friends. But what do good friends look like? What do they do or not do? In the most intimate of the 13 letters the Apostle Paul wrote that help form the New Testament, Philippians, we see a portrait of what to look for in a friend. Consider these 5 behaviors that a good friend will consistently live out and ask yourself if you model them as a friend yourself.

friendship dog and cat

In Philippians 1.3-11, Paul gives us this template for what good friends do. A good friend will…

1. Remember the best in you (v. 3).
   • When Paul prayed for his friends in the church in the city of Philippi, his thoughts of them brought him great joy. He chose to focus on their good qualities, rather than upon  their limitations and weaknesses. He remembered their best.
   • What emotions and thoughts rise up in the minds of others when they think of you…joy, happiness, and peace or fear, worry, and anxiety?
2. Give their best to you (v. 5, 7).
   • He said that he had them in his heart. He fully gave himself to them by giving them the deepest thing about himself, his heart. He used the word koinonia, which means deep partnership, as he described their strong, intimate relationship. Paul was not a relationship skimmer. Rather he gave himself fully to these special friends.
   • How would others describe you? A relationship skimmer or one who is willing to risk and go deep in friendships?
3. Encourage the best in you (v. 6).
   • He was confident that God would finish the work that He had begun in them. He emphasized that truth and sought to bring out their best. Good friends will bring out your best. Liz Wizeman who studied 150 leaders and wrote Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter discovered that there are two kinds of leaders: multipliers and diminishers. Multipliers bring out the best in others by amplifying their strengths, encouraging them, and empowering them. Diminishers do the opposite. They drain you by having all the answers, micro-managing, and being self focused. Good friends will always seek to be a multiplier in your life.
   • How would others describe you: as a multiplier or a diminisher?
4. Pray the best for you (v. 9).
   • Paul fervently prayed for his friends. He prayed that they would love Jesus and others more, would learn more about God, and would live out the truths of God’s Word in their conduct and character. Good friends will pray that those three things will become reality in their friends.
   • When you last prayed for your friends, what did you pray for them about? 
5. Expect the best from you (v. 10-11).
   • Good friends will hold you accountable. They will tell you what you may not want to hear because they will expect the best from you. They won’t let you settle for what is just ‘good.’ They will challenge you to do and be your best.
   • What friend in your life holds you accountable? Do you have a friend that knows you will expect the best from him or her?

Good friends are rare. But when God gives them to us, they are worth their weight in gold.

What question above most resonated with you? Is the Holy Spirit prompting you to become a better friend?

Teens, Tech, and Neutral Tme

One of the goals of this blog is to equip and resource parents as they guide their teens through adolescence. This week I'd like to offer up a couple articles that I have found particularly helpful in keeping up in an ever changing teenage world.

1. Use Tech Like a Teen: This article helps to explain why teens use tech the way they do, and even challenge adults to follow their lead. Our teens are digital natives and are accustomed to using tech. As parent, it's important to know why your teen is using tech the way they do.

2. Technology and the Adolescent Brain: Are you worried about what tech is doing to your child's brain? This article offers some good balanced thoughts in this area on two particular fronts:

1. Radio-frequency's effect on intellectual reaction time.
2. The consequences of internet use on social-cognition.

 3. Digital Kids Initiative has published a list of recommended reading for parents of teens. Check out the list here. The list includes topics such as:

• Technology and your teens brain.
• Setting priorities straight.
• Technology and Spirituality
• Living Porn Free
• Media Criticism

4. The Myth of Neutral Time: This article comes from the Gospel Coalition, and it confronts the false notion that seasons of time can be neutral. Often we see this lived out in our college students who, "put faith on hold, to explore others options". It is a good read, and challenges us to think through our notion of "neutral time". 

"You've got to believe in something..."

These two videos are from Soul Pancake via YouTube. The first one is a letter from a dad to his kids, and the second is an open letter to moms.

Click the link if the video doesn't appear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn4dXuev-nA&list=PLzvRx_johoA8U7WtTDwXrqW1mPi7xTwwh&feature=share

Click the link if the video doesn't appear. 

http://youtu.be/pQ4Rnba85o8

5 things I appreciated about the videos:

1. They show just how important moms and dads are to their kids. 
2. They both recognize the hard work it takes to be a great mom and dad; and, the hurts and joys that come along with that job. 
3. They talk about how important community is to our parenting, and to our kids. We need people to support us as parents, and encourage our kids. 
4. In "Letter To My Kids" the dad says, "You have to believe in something bigger than yourself." What he lands on is good, but I think there is something bigger and more transformational to believe in. --> That's Jesus, btw.
5. "Living for others is the secret sauce." So true. Pretty sure Jesus said something like that once too. ;)  

I know that as Christian parents these videos don't speak to the full extent of the truth they're hinting at. But, they are a good reminder and expression of how important we are as parents to our children and our spiritual children (those kids and teens in our churches). I really believe that Moses offers the full spiritual weight of these same insights in Deut. 6:4-9

... 4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. ... 

Check out the whole chapter, and pray this prayer everyday with me: 

Lord, thank you for my children (biological / adopted/ spiritual). Help me to know you more each day, so that I can share you with them. And, that they would know you, life in you, and make you known in their world. 

Free Access To A Great Resource!

A couple months ago I wrote the following post about our church's partnership with rightnow MEDIA. I thought I'd repost it since summer is winding down, school is just around the corner, and now is a great time to be thinking about resources for discipling and encouraging our kids in their faith during the coming school year.

Our church has an account with rightnow MEDIA. Why's that important for you? Great question!

It means you and your teens can have access to great video teaching from people like:

• Beth Moore
• Andy Stanley
• Francis Chan
• Louie Giglio
• Matt Chandler
• And many more! (Sorry that sounds like an infomercial...)

Seriously, it's free. It's not the end all, be all to discipleship. But, it is a great resource in our disciple making parent tool box. And, there is stuff for the whole family. Kid's stuff, lessons just for teens, and teaching just for you as an adult and parent. This could be a great resource to stay connected and talking about faith as a family in the busy summer months. 

All you need to do is email me (pastor_kyle@atlanticfreechurch.com) and let me know you want access. Then, I'll have you added to our account, you'll receive an automated email from rightnow MEDIA, and you can sign in. Pretty easy huh? 

Oh, and you can stream the videos on all your devices. Sweet, right?

Here are some examples of what you'll have free access to:

Finance:





Youth:

Parenting:

Children:

Rude: A Father and Daughter's Thoughts.

Here's a fun one to kick-off the POTR blog being back in action after our Challenge Conference hiatus.

Have you heard this song?

Try the link if the video doesn't appear: http://youtu.be/PIh2xe4jnpk

Here is what one dad had to say about it. 

Try the link if the video doesn't appear: http://youtu.be/TzyQx6AL1MQ

And, here's a daughter's thoughts. 

Try the link if the video doesn't appear: http://youtu.be/HnqsjWZ4FGU

*The two people who did the video responses are not related.

As a father of two little girls it provided me some food for thought this week. Two things specifically:

1. Are we raising sons and daughters to be people of integrity in all things?
2. What portions of both the father's response and the daughter's response are valid? What portions aren't?

Apps that help you as a parent.

There's a good chance that, you and your teen each have a smart phone. So how can your smart phone help you parent your teen? Unfortunately, there is not an app to answer all your questions, give advice in all situations, or make your teen clean their room. But, there are apps that help you monitor and screen their internet browsing, check in with you, and limit device usage. All you need to do is download the app and try it out.

Remember, any type of rigor (discipline) that is divorced from healthy loving relationship will result in rebellion. Using an app can't replace a relationship. And, when using something like an app to help keep your teen on the straight and narrow, talk about it with them. Agree on some terms and boundaries. Best case is to make it a part of their phone from the beginning.


DinnerTime: This app lets you control the times that your teen can use, or not use their device. Don't want interruptions at dinner, during study time, or in the middle of the night? This might help you out.

http://www.dinnertimeapp.com/



MAMABear: This app lets your teen check in with you by just tapping the app. It can also help you know if they are speeding, who their with, where they're at, and what's going on in thier social media circles.

http://mamabearapp.com/

FBI Child ID: This app allows you to store photos and important info about your child in the event they ever become lost.

http://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/2011/august/child_080511







Qustodio: This app offers you the ability to protect, understand, and mange your teens internet usage. It includes analytics of internet usage for each teen, restrict device usage times, block harmful content, and see who your child is talking and texting with.

http://www.qustodio.com/