Growth: Part 2

 

Last week on the blog, I explored the growth model our youth ministry uses to guide our programs, and asked the question:

So, as parents, are we offering and encouraging opportunities for our teens to be engaged in the total experience of spiritual growth? Are we (personally) engaged in that as well? Ie. Are we modeling it? 

This week, I want to offer some practical thoughts on how we as parents can be answering, yes, to those questions. Remember, this is not a curriculum you can implement, a program you can turn on, or a switch to flip. This is a heart thing; and, heart things take time, consistency, and patience.

Here are some ideas for engaging your teen in spiritual growth:

Go on a mission trip: This could be local, national, or global. Simply, take your teen with you as you go on mission. Some trips may not be appropriate to take your teen with. Ie. If you are going to a closed country such North Korea, or working directly with human trafficking victims. Yet, there are so many opportunities to take your children along with you as you serve. They can look like:

• Raking your neighbors leaves this fall: Start small if this is new for you. Ask your teen to come with you as you serve someone in a simple way. Explain that, by loving others and expecting nothing in return is one way we live out our commitment to Jesus. Afterward, ask them about how the time went. 
• Serving the homeless: Want to do something a little more out of your comfort zone? Consider serving your local homeless population. Call up a homeless shelter and as what they need help with, then pick something and bring your teen.  
• Going on a domestic or international mission trip: This can be a big step in a lot of ways. You'll be in a new location, serving in a focused way, and being forced to really consider the spiritual significance of our lives. So, why wouldn't you want to go? Talk about an upcoming trip with your teen, see if they are interested, and pray together about going and serving. 

Remember, when you invite your student to go on mission with you, their experience is strongly dependent on you. If you're not all in, they probably won't be either. If you don't communicate the importance of serving and the results from serving, they may not see it. Finally, if you don't ask follow up questions and debrief the experience, they may miss the significance of that experience.  

Invite them into your quiet time: Ask them to join you, to read the passage with you, and to walk through it just as you do. Allow them to draw their own insights from the passage, and ask them about what they were. This doesn't have to be an everyday thing. But, it shows your teen a couple really important things:

• You're trying to be faithful to what you believe. 
• You're not perfect, and they don't have to be either. (This depends on your degree of honesty. Remember, teens are really good at separating the fake from the real.)
• You care for them enough to include them in your spiritual life. 
• Models how to have a quiet time.

Invite them into your spiritual obedience: Include your teen in your mundane spiritual obedience. Sounds silly right? What's mundane about being spiritually obedient? Well, what we may consider to be routine, can be revolutionary to our teens as they join us in obedience. Teach Sunday school? Ask your teen to help. Writing that tithe check out? Have junior do it with you, and ask him why he thinks you do this. Greeting at church that Sunday morning? Bring your teen along. Talk to them before about how we are a body and are all Christ's children; and, that greeting is a way to remind people of and encourage them with Jesus' love. Model obedience for your teen, especially in the little things.
 
Ask them questions: Create an environment of dialogue. Driving home Sunday after church, ask them what they learned, thought about, or even questioned that morning. Let them have some rope, even when their thoughts and reflections seem crazy.  Consider how patient God is with us as we learn more and more about him.  Their faith won't be lost in outlandish thoughts or questions. It will be squelched if we just keep setting them straight and don't guide them through the wrestling that learning takes. Trust me, this is uncomfortable for us parents. Teens want to explore and wrestle with truth, so lets make sure we are encouraging them in truth, giving them room to wrestle, and keep the dialogue going.   

Pray with and for them: Ask them to pray with you. Ask them what's on their heart that they want to pray about. And pray. Model faithful obedience in prayer, and care for them.

As you consider these things, don't feel like you need to do all of them all at once. Doing one or two already? Great, keep going! Considering trying one out? Awesome, go for it! Wherever you are at with you teen, remember this is going to take time. Think about how long it took you. Over the next week, consider how you are modeling a healthy faith for your teen, and how you can invite them into your journey. And, don't rush into anything just yet. Instead, start praying over them and for them.

Next week, we'll talk about:

• My teen doesn't want to ride in the same car, let alone pray with me!
• How do I make these consistent and successful?