Rememebring Christ This Christmas

Christmas is almost here.... Literally! Only 7 more days till Santa comes!

Oh, Santa. I feel like the old guy in the red suit is supposed to make Christmas meaningful or peaceful. But, let's be honest, he's not real. So, he can't bring meaning, peace, or joy to me this or any Christmas. However, I know the One who is real. And, He can bring peace, meaning, and joy to me and all His children this, and every Christmas. He is Jesus. Without the cliche culture semantics; "He is the reason for the season."

Sure, I know all about the pagan past of Christmas. The raucous partying didn't cease, till the Yule Log stopped burning. The Christmas Tree is a symbol of fertility, in the "dormant season". Peasants would go "caroling" to demand food, drink, and gifts of the rich. And, if the rich didn't give into their demands through song, the peasants would most likely pillage the home and take what they wanted. Ever wonder why the carol goes: "And bring us some figgy pudding... we won't go till we've got some..."?

But, if we're going to be honest, most of us in the 21st century have about as much connection to the celebration of Saturnalia, as we do to Dionysus. So why not celebrate Christmas in it's fullness; and, most importantly in it's essentials? At youth group we have been celebrating the traditional Church season of Advent. This season is fully dedicated to the essentials of Christmas. That being Christ, and worshiping Him. I hope it has helped to remove some of the "clutter" from Christmas for our students. But how will we remove Christmas "clutter" from our homes?

Here are some ideas:

1. Have a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas day. Sure, Jesus wasn't born in December. But, it is when we celebrate it as a Church. And, I 'm not convinced it's the month in which we celebrate it, that makes it important. It is the fact the He is the Messiah, that gives it great importance. So have a cake, and sing Him happy birthday before you open any of the presents.

2. Attend a Christmas Eve church service: I understand that just going to church isn't the end all be all, to our spiritual journeys. It is one part. A very important one part. What better way to remind ourselves and our children of the essentials of Christmas, by spending part of it in God's house, with God's people, and worshiping God's Son?

3. Read the Christmas story in scripture as a family: Each Christmas Eve, after we returned home from church, my parents would have us read the Christmas story together. Often, we would open presents Christmas eve, since my mom (who is a nurse) had to work on Christmas day. It was a good reminder, and a good follow up on what we just heard and sang about in church.

4. Talk through the nativity: Was there really no room in the inn? Was there even an inn? Were the wise men there the night of Jesus' birth? And, how many were there? Why did they bring gifts that were so elaborate? And, how did Mary and Joseph use those gifts? These are some questions that can help us think through and understand the nativity scene better. Seeing truth in the nativity, can help us see a greater depth in what God did during the first 6 years of Jesus' life.

Here and here, are two articles answering some of these questions, and a video!  

However you spend your Christmas, don't let it get too "cluttered", and end up missing the Messiah.


Oh, and here is a really fun article about the real St. Nic. Spoiler alert: St. Nic punches a guy...   

Community...

Community is a big deal to any 20 something and teen today. Tim Keller talks about it in a short video interview. He notes that as soon as he mentions the word "community" everyone shows up. However, he also sees a challenge in this desire for community.

What do you think of what he has to say?

How can we help our teens and young adults experience and foster true, healthy, and diverse (age, ethnic, and economic) community?

How is our pursuit of community shaped by the Gospel, and how does it spread the Gospel?

*Originally seen at: www.learningmylines.blogspot.com

It must be the holidays.... 10 things to confirm your suspicions.

I thought this was supposed to be easy?!?

1. Assembling toys till Santa goes home. Don't worry you'll get it done before the kids wake up, right??? 

When you were in college you thought you did your best work at 3 am. Now you can barely see straight at Midnight. But don't worry, where physical limitations abound,  the combo of adrenaline, coffee, and fear of disappointing your little ones will get you through.  

2. When do I break the real news about Santa?

Danielle and I really wrestle with how long will we let the Santa thing go. Or even, are we going to do the Santa thing? I'm in the camp that states: Santa only brings socks and underwear for Christmas. If it's cool, it came from mom and dad! But, at what point do you let your little one know that Santa is not real. And, how long will it take for them to crush the dreams of their younger siblings? 

3. Sleep, who needs sleep?

You're probably working long hours to make sure you can take time off, or maybe you're up waiting in line at 2 am on Black Friday. Either way, sleep always seems to be a limited commodity for parents. And during the holidays, you'll need to rely on less than the usual, less than optimum level. Start brewing that coffee strong, dark, and in quantities that will keep coffee growers in business for a long time!

4. Johnny said what?!?

Maybe it's at the big family dinner, or at church during that special holiday service. But, either way your precious little one just uttered something that will become the stuff of holiday legends. In the future years it will begin with, "Hey mom, remember when Johnny said...?!?" Then silently, you 'll think to yourself, "Yep, that was my kid and smile (or cry, depending on what was said)."


5. No kids, that's just how Uncle Joe is...

We all have one, or two. You know who they are; that uncle, aunt, cousin, or grandparent that just cannot help but be too honest. I've got a handful in my family. And, my parents always told us they were just "characters". They usually said something like, "Oh Joe, you're such a character. Kids, don't you think Uncle Joe is being a character?" As I grew up, I realized that being a "character" = being "rude".  

 6. I thought you were supposed to pick up the ham....

Maybe this just happens to me. But, at some point this holiday season, my wife will turn to me and say, "I thought you were going to get the....?" At which point I will apologize and frantically try to make up for my mistake. Hopefully this year I don't forget the Christmas ham. Because, Christmas cheese burgers just aren't the same... although, they do sound pretty good.

7. Can I (I am going to) spend Thanksgiving/ Christmas with....

At some point your teen or twenty something is going to invite a "friend" to spend the holiday with you, or ask to spend it with this "friends" family. I remember when I first got invited to Danielle's family's Christmas dinner. Her Grandma said, "Danielle, I'm so glad your little buddy could come to dinner." Grandma Thompson was such a sweet lady. Even after Danielle and I got married, she still called me "Danielle's little buddy." Grandma T always made me feel welcomed at family gatherings. This transition will come for each of us as our children become teens and young adults. How we react will show the resiliency of our family. Anyway, there's always room for one more, right?

8. That moment of family bliss.

It may be fleeting. But, it is bound to happen. There will be that moment where the stars align and family bliss will ensue. It was the blizzard of 1993 and Pittsburgh was covered in 4 feet of snow, in 36 hours. We were used to heavy snows, but this much, this quick, shuts everything down. We lived on a hill and had an alley right next to our house that we would sled down. My dad had the borough guys plow in the top and bottom of the alley so no cars would drive down it; and, we wouldn't slide into the street below. And the perfect family moment happened. Fresh snow, my brother and I sledding down the alley, and my parents laughing with us. Then I got too much speed, flew over the snow bank at the bottom of the alley, and promptly got stuck under our neighbors car. Bliss over... the stuff of legends begins.   

9. When your child says thank you and is genuinely excited for the gift you worked so hard to get them.

Being appreciated is wonderful. When it comes from your child because of what you spent so much time searching for, just for them, it is the best thing in the world. Our kids will never fully know how much we love them. And, I'm convinced that's ok. It must be similar for God. I know he loves me more than anything else. Yet, I am suspicious that the true depth of his love is unknown to me. I wonder when I say thank you for his love, if he feels the way I do, when my child is thankful for me and my love for her? 

10. Having a spiritually significant moment with your kids this holiday season. 

While there are so many moments to remind us that we are in the holiday season, I hope each of you have a spiritually significant moment with your children. I remember growing up and going to Christmas eve service with my parents. The church was decorated, and by the end of the night it was solely light by candle light as each person held a lit candle. It was in that moment each year, as we sang "Silent Night" that I was reminded and convinced of the truth that Christmas was so much more than crazy relatives, presents, and Santa. It is solely about Christ and his love for us.




 

Remembering To Forget... Thoughts on Thanksgiving

Holiday meals were (let's be honest, still are) often met with joyful anticipation and dread in my family. I read an article this week on the Gospel Coalition site that dealt with the challenging moments and hardships of shared family meals. Especially, ones like Thanksgiving that have so much pressure and significance placed upon them. As the author of the article notes, often we rely on the traditions themselves to bind our tables in unity and love. Yet, that is a lot of pressure to place on a green bean casserole. She offers instead, that we should seek unity in Christ-like forgetfulness. She states,  

"Which is why days like Thanksgiving are not merely calls to remembrance but also calls to forgetfulness—no, not the forgetfulness of lost car keys or misplaced TV remotes, but the intentional forgetting of what has gone before, the setting aside of past offenses, the laying down of our claims to restitution for old wounds. We are called to a forgetful forgiveness of others—the kind our heavenly Father practices toward us—in which we decide not to remember. Though the record of our hurts may never fade from our consciousness, we consciously set it aside. It's a deliberate forgetfulness of the offenses of others and a studied forgetfulness of the sins of our own past—a refusal to let them continue to dictate the course of our decisions and reactions."

Looking back, maybe my family dinners could have used a large helping of remembering to forget. After all, grandma's impassioned appeals for everyone to just get along, never seemed to work. OK, who am I kidding? My Grandma never made the impassioned appeals, she was the troublemaker... ;)

You can read the whole article here.

Whoa!!! How did Google get a picture of my family's Thanksgiving dinner?!?

 

Living In and Out Generosity

Our most recent series in youth group was titled, "Wisdom". Bet you can't guess what it was about... Sorry, Ninjas is incorrect (Good guess though!). It was about wisdom. Specifically, divine wisdom.

As we looked into what wisdom was, what it means for our lives, and what our lives should look like if we are pursuing wisdom; we found out that wisdom calls us to be generous. Check it out in Proverbs 3. Yet, as we came to understand the type of generosity wisdom calls us to commit to; we saw it was selfless generosity. We weren't giving away our time, finances, or our kind words just to get praise and recognition. We were giving those things away because God was first generous to us. Generosity compelled by love and founded in wisdom is what Proverbs urges us with.

Kurt Johnson, wrote a neat piece on generosity recently over on the blog, morethandodgeball.com. Give it a read here. As we run into the holiday season, how can generosity help us slow down and engage in a meaningful spiritual activity with our kids?

Last Minute! Webinar with Walt Mueller

What are you up to tomorrow? Do you have an hour free? Say, 1-2 pm (2-3 EST) or 7-8 pm (8-9 EST). 

If you are free, and have $20, there is a CPYU webinar on  "Kids and Social Media". I have heard Walt Mueller speak in the past, and firmly believe it is worth $20! So, if you have the time, the $20, and an interest in the topic give him a listen. The great thing is it's a webinar... that means you can be present in your pj's and eat popcorn the entire time! 

Details are here.

Technology and Faith

Here are some stats from the Barna Group on how Millennials (18-29 yr olds) are using technology to pursue faith. What are the implications of this for our younger students? Say the 12-17 year olds.

How many of us as parents are adopting a digital format in pursuit to our faith? Personally, I use an ESV study Bible and the Glo Bible App on my iPad for most of my study now. I lean towards digital copies of books. And, love a good video illustration. But then again, at 27, I am firmly a Millennial son.

Do we lose something sacred, when our sacred text is in the digital format?
How do we encourage our students to find "true" quiet time
with God?
What are the benefits and challenging of having digital access to so many resources on faith?

Learning My Lines By: Walt Mueller

One of the things that came up in our most recent YAC meeting was cyber bullying. This is a really tough issue because of the potential anonymity of the aggressors and victims. However, it is not a hopeless situation for parents or teens. As I was combing through Walt Mueller's blog this week, I found an article on cyber bullying. He also links some good resources for parents in the post. 

Click the link below for his thoughts.   

learning my lines. . .: The Sad Suicide of Rebecca Sedwick: Sticks, Stones...:

Colin Powell: Kids need structure

Recently I found this video via TED Talks. It provides some food for thought when it comes to structure and our children. As a pastor my immediate thoughts go to the Church, and it's role in providing structure and support for students and families. 

What comes to your mind as you listen to Colin Powell's thoughts?  

Safety In The Digital Age

Our teens have a wealth of resources at their finger tips. Literally. If your child has a smart phone, iPod, or tablet, they can access the internet and a world of ideas anywhere they go. FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat have made email feel out dated and slow for our teens. The digital age is not coming, it is here and our children are digital sons and daughters. Is this a bad thing? Probably, not. Does it present challenges? Definitely!

Here are some challenges:

1. Safety
2. Time manegment
3. Appropriateness of content
4. Interpersonal communication skills
5. Safety (Yep, it makes the list twice!)

So how do we help protect our teens as they live in a digital age? Here are some ideas to protecting your teens:

1. Be where they are: We walk with them physically through life, why not digitally? Maybe social media is not your thing. That's ok. But, chances are it's your teens thing. So give it a try. You don't need 10,000 friends on FaceBook and you certainly don't need to play Farmville either. Just "friend" your teen and keep an eye on what they are posting, and what others are posting on their wall. If FaceBook isn't their thing, they are probably on Twitter or Tumblr.

Or, have your teen give you the password to their accounts. This is good for accountability. Just remember to confront with extra grace if something comes up. 

2. Set age limits: Technically speaking, students aren't allowed to join FaceBook till they are 13 (as per FaceBook's guidelines). This is a good attempt to limit the age of it's members, even if it is only a verbal policy from FaceBook. Talk with your kids and set realistic age limits with them as to when they can use or have certain things. Such as: FaceBook/ Twitter at 13, cell phone at 14, smart phone at 16, etc. Setting age limits allows them to wade into the digital pool slowly.

3. Use your technology: Teens have a wealth of tech at their finger tips, but parents have just as much, or in most cases more. Devices range is power and capabilities. As parents you probably have greater access to full powered devices and thus, a world of help in the iPhone 4S in your pocket or purse.

Here are some apps to help you protect your kids and yourself in the digital world:

• Apple Devices:
• Mobicip safe browser with parental control. $ Free
• AVG Family Safety: $ Free
• Enabling restrictions: Restrictions allow you as a parent to control what features you child can use on their Apple device. See this to start.
• This is a feature on your device and not an app.

• Android Devices:
• AVG has a host of free Apps to help regulate internet usage. Go to Google Play and search for AVG. 
• Mobicip safe browser with parental control. $ Free
• My Mobile Watchdog: $4.99 per month.  
• This app does everything: monitor calls, texts, picture messages, setup internet and app access limits, and see history. *Not available for iPhone. 

Another approach is to work with your cell provider. They can remotely lock the phone during requested times. This allows you to control when your teen gets to use their phone, and what they can do with it. Don't want your teen texting at 2 am on a school night?  This is probably your best option, other than physically taking the phone.

Ultimately, being open and honest with your teen about the dangers and risks of digital life is the best place to start. The technology is not the danger, it's how we use it that puts us at risk.

Know of any other good apps or suggestions? Let us know in the comments section!

Keeping Up With Culture

Culture: (n)(v) The behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the sports culture.

Anyone who has spent any time around a teen can attest to how quickly culture changes in the 21st century. Often this change can feel overwhelming and even debilitating if your trying to help a teen wade through those ever changing waters. 

Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was one place that would inform and educate parents and youth workers on the latest cultural trends and how to help our teens work through them? Enter stage left: The internet and Walt Mueller. 

Walt Mueller is a youth worker with a passion for understanding cultural trends, it's impact on teens, and helping parents and other youth workers lead teens into truth about culture. Check out his site here. 

On his site you will find culture updates, trend alerts, and parenting resources. There are tons of free resources and articles. So grab a cup of joe and dig in!